Script review with Steve Coombes


I had the review of my first script draft with Steve Coombes on Wednesday and I really enjoyed it for a variety of reasons. One of which was the fact that he brought so many things to light about the script that I hadn't realised before. We spoke about how I could touch up on the character's traits. For example, Lillian felt a little too ahead of her time and so it wasn't really necessary for me to go overboard with making her seem very standoff-ish because that is already shown. 

 He reiterated the point that you need to show it not say it and although I thought I did a good job of that, he made me realise there were things that I could've done to further enhance that and it made so much more sense for me to do so. However, one of the things that I was a little bit hesitant about changing was the ending. Since I felt like the start and middle of my story was quite simple I wanted a more dramatic ending, something unexpected yet foreseeable which is why I originally had the idea of Lillian self inflict harm upon herself in order to frame Ray for even more of a controlling effect. But whilst discussing this with Steve, he made me realise that this was not necessary and I could show a different development within their relationship. 

 So it looks like my script will be going from a somewhat thriller/ drama theme to a more lighthearted drama version and I'm okay with that. I just fear that It may come across boring when being marked as there isn't much of a shock factor anymore however there is still a change/ realisation within the characters so I think it will still work.
Lillian realises that she's been taking it too far after she lashes out at him, attempts to make a mends by doing something that once "wasn't her thing". I hope that Simon picks up on this but I'm still unsure about the script as a whole. Maybe the change is too small to be significant? But overall I think I did a good job considering this is my first script. 

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Directions: Drama: SFX make up

Image
For my production I wanted to create prosthetics to heighten the believability and the quality of my zombies. I watched a lot of youtube tutorials and I realised that there is a technique to creating such pieces but I was really willing to try it out. Usually you would need to make a a cast for the persons face but I decided to simplify it for myself and just use  plate. I learnt that this could be just as good after watching someone create a brilliant prosthetic that way.  In the video here you can see that she has moulded the clay in to the desired shape and preps it for the covering of the liquid latex. I then proceeded to doing the same.   I was using coloured, oil based clay for mine. I was then required to sprinkle flour over mine to thicken the layer of the latex. I would repeat that until I was happy with the thickness. In the same tutorial, she moulded teeth for her zombie and I thought it would've been cool to do the same. For this, I had to bite d
Read more

Directions: Self Portrait: The Development of the idea and Test Footage

Image
I had an idea of how I wanted my self portrait to look, I wanted to incorporate nice imagery from a collection of places that I have been and I wanted it to have a double exposure effect, almost like it was imprinting on me. I learned that in order to get that effect, I would need to be in front of a plain background, green screen would be best. I watched a few tutorial on this;   But I later found another tutorial where I learned that you can also achieve this look without a green screen, the background just had to be plain. After learning about this, I was relieved because it would be easier for me to do it on a white background, especially when I realised that the studios had plain white walls with good lighting after a workshop. I wanted to conduct some test footage and try out the design to see if it was actually plausible. Here are some stills of the test footage. After shooting this I realised that the only shots I could practice on were the ones wh
Read more

Major Project: Table Read with actors

Image
What the meeting consisted of;  This part of the unit was really important as it required me to take my directing skills to the next step. the official definition for a 'Table Read" is described as " A table read is when actors sit around tables in a large room (or sometimes your living room!) and read through the script aloud.  " - Backstage.com (2014) I knew it would really require me to know exactly how I wanted my actors to portray their characters.  This table read consisted of me arriving at my actress Sigourney's house and Moses would meet me there. Both actors where able to meet each other for the first time so that was really good. We then sat around the table and read through the script but most importantly we focussed on scenes that needed to evoke the most emotion or scenes that required a certain emphasis. I took some recordings to allow me to listen back if I ever wanted  I had to make sure I was listening carefully to every word and pronunciati
Read more